Tips to Boost Self-Compassion and Reset for Personal and Professional Breakthroughs
Are you tired of beating yourself up all the time?
You’re not alone. We might know God forgave our sins through Jesus, but we continue to carry the weight of our sins, failures and mistakes. When we learn to practice self-compassion, we embrace God’s grace and never-ending mercy.
Practicing self-compassion will accelerate your journey of achieving your personal and professional goals and make it a much more joyful experience.
What is self-compassion?
Self-compassion is the ability to extend kindness and understanding to yourself in times of failure or suffering. When you experience negative emotions because you made a mistake, failed, or are faced with feelings of inadequacy, you can choose to approach it without judgment or self-criticism.
High-performing high achievers are especially prone to holding such impossible standards for themselves. In one global study of over 1300 leaders’ mindsets and behaviors, self-compassion consistently ranked lowest. The ability to show ourselves kindness is a blind spot for leaders and founders across the world.
Why is self-compassion so important for a successful reset?
People who practice self-compassion become more resilient and adaptable to setbacks, which you will inherently face as you embark on your growth journey.
How do you build up your self-compassion?
God invites us to keep growing in compassion, and the first step in building your self-compassion muscle is cultivating a growth mindset. Instead of going into a well-worn cycle of self-beratement, judgment, and criticism—typical behaviors when we are too hard on ourselves—you can:
- Honor your feelings. Do not suppress or ignore them, for what we resist will persist and will eventually come out in some other unhealthy way. Rather, acknowledge the feelings as real and let yourself feel them.
- Offer yourself words of self-compassion. Speak to yourself as you would someone you love who was disappointed: “I did the best that I could.” “It’s ok if I feel disappointed with myself.” “Of course I would feel bummed that I couldn’t show up for them the way I would have liked.”
- Find the lesson. A powerful exercise is to ask ‘what’ instead of ‘why’ questions. Asking ‘why’ keeps you stuck in the spiral of self-loathing; asking ‘what’ empowers you to learn something from a difficult situation. For example, “What is the meaning of this moment?” or “What can I learn from this?” is better than “Why did this happen?” Asking yourself “What do I know to be true?” can be a powerful way to interrupt negative mental chatter. From curiosity rather than judgment, ask yourself, “Whose voice is this?” It usually stems from something we were told in our childhood by a parent, teacher, coach, etc.
Self-compassion is a form of forgiveness and an act of faith. It is a true act of generosity to yourself to embrace all parts of you, to learn from your failures so you can grow and actualize your full potential in every area of your life. When we can lean into God’s promises that all things work together for our good (Romans 8:28), it reminds us that the mistakes and failures along the way don’t mean that we are a mistake or failure. Rather, in God’s hands, our mistakes can become the fertilizer for us to blossom into our highest and best.
