I’d Rather Burn Than Ask.
One day my daughter, Giavanna, and I decided to take a walk along the beach. I had put sunscreen on before we left, but once we got onto the sand, Giavanna realized she hadn’t.
As we made our way toward the water, she suddenly stopped. A woman nearby was setting up her beach area for the day, and before I realized what was happening, Giavanna walked over to a complete stranger and asked if she could use some of her sunscreen.
I stood there watching in awe.
The woman happily obliged. Giavanna covered herself in sunscreen, handed the bottle back, politely thanked her, and continued toward the water as though what had just happened was perfectly normal.
I, however, had questions.
“Do you know her?”
“No.”
“I cannot believe you just asked a complete stranger for sunscreen! That stuff is like $10 a bottle.”
Giavanna looked at me as though the answer were obvious and said, “I’d rather ask than get skin cancer.”
Without even thinking, I responded, “I would rather burn than ask.”
That conversation stayed with me for weeks.
Think about the absurdity of my statement.
Giavanna had a need, made it known, received what she needed, thanked the person who helped her, and walked peacefully toward the water. Had I been in her situation, I would have quietly walked toward that same water, knowing full well I was going to fry. I would have endured the sunburn, the pain, the inconvenience, when the solution was one simple ask away.
How often do we do exactly that as leaders?
We carry burdens privately that were never intended to be carried alone. We hesitate to delegate. We don’t tell people what we need. We don’t ask for the introduction, the advice, the resources or the help. Sometimes we even convince ourselves that carrying everything ourselves is a sign of strength.
Jesus gives us a very different picture in Matthew 7:7:
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”
Ask. Seek. Knock.
But here’s what is striking about all three words: they require us to do something.
Recently, I noticed that same instruction hiding beside another Scripture I have quoted countless times. In Matthew 9:37, Jesus tells His disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.” We know that verse. But somehow I missed the instruction that comes immediately afterward:
“Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.” — Matthew 9:38
There it is again.
Ask.
Jesus identifies the need and then instructs His disciples to ask the Father to meet it. He doesn’t tell them to quietly carry the weight of the entire harvest themselves.
What are you carrying today that perhaps you haven’t been asked to carry alone? What need have you recognized but never made known? What door have you already decided is closed even though you haven’t knocked?
Start by taking the need to your Father. Ask Him. Seek His wisdom. Listen for the prompting of the Holy Spirit, and be willing to act on what He shows you.
Maybe that means asking an employee to take ownership of a project consuming your time. Perhaps it is asking a mentor for advice, a colleague for an introduction, your spouse for support or a neighbor for help. Maybe it is simply letting someone know you cannot do everything yourself.
The answer won’t always be yes. The door you knock on won’t always open. But there is a significant difference between a door God has closed and a door we never knocked on because we were too afraid to ask.
I learned that lesson walking down a beach with my daughter.
She asked, received what she needed, and walked peacefully toward the water.
I would have burned.
So perhaps the question for all of us is much simpler than we make it:
What are you enduring because you haven’t asked?
Ask. Seek. Knock.
Nothing is off the table.
Not even sunscreen.
